Disowning a pet? But you told him every creature has a soul... Every creature but me...?
What happened to the early mornings I would jump upon your bed, and kiss your face until you awoke with laughter? Now all you do is bellow curses straight into my furry little ears! Even as guilt broke out upon my face, you still pointed to the bedroom door.
What happened to us living alone, best friends in the world you titled "lonely"? You've gotten a boyfriend, one who "loves" dogs. Have you ever thought about what he does when you are not at home? The abuse that leaves small scars? He told you I was clumsy, even after you knew I certainly was not, and you believed him.
Some say you thought with your heart, believing in that boy. I know that you did not, for you left me for him. We had gone through so much, and you threw away our memories, just because I am a different species?
I thought you would come through for me, I thought that you would remember me. Instead, you left with him and adopted a puppy, one that was half my age. You both were so joyous and excited, and after a while, I loved it too. But after I loved that new little pup, I discovered that I resented it also. That she-pup took away all the attention and love that I was used to receiving, stealing it all away.
I couldn't bring myself to blame her, she was adorable and didn't even notice that she averted your attention from me. I could never bring myself to hate any living thing, just as I hoped you would never forget about me.
Why did you get another friend, I thought I was special to you. Does this mean I am not enough? She bites me quite hard, sometimes enough that I would bleed. Yet you don't seem to notice, as you get older you only care about the boy and the puppy. What happened to even paying a little attention to me?
I know that I am asking a lot, but all I want is a reason. I wish to know what I did wrong, so that maybe I can fix it and everything will go back to the way it was. I really wish it would all go back, now.
As you're getting older, I hoped that you would finally remember I didn't give up on you, but now I realize that you have already given up on me. I realize you have given up on me as soon as we are in the car. I knew this would happen, but I always pushed away the thought. I don't understand, I am only six years old...
I can see it, the building is nearing. I try to memorize this last moment with you as the pet shelter halts directly beside your car. You turn off the engine, and I whimper the pleads. Still, you open the door to get me. My head is screaming "No, momma, no! Please go back to normal, I still love you so much!"
You chain me up and drag me into the building as my claws dig into the cement. You shout at me for the first time in what seems like forever, this is not the attention I wanted. I release my grip and allow you to pull me along. I have to trust you, I just hope that you aren't going to do what I fear most.
You direct me to the desk, people standing in long white coats behind it. Immediately, I wish I were home, or at least back in the car, anywhere but here! Anywhere but here!
The lady behind the desk beckons to you, and you guide me over to her. You mumble in your human words, still so alien to me. I want to know what you are saying, I want to know that I will stay with you.
The woman comes out from behind the desk and takes the leash from you. "What a shame," she whispers to you. I let out a whimper as I look into your eyes one last time. I memorize every detail of your face and realize that you are weeping. Crystal teardrops are flowing gently down your cheek. One lands on my nose. "Why are you doing this...? Why are you crying?" I whine softly.
You turn to follow the woman who now holds the leash. Somehow, I feel slightly more relaxed knowing that you are still here. You're crying breaks into quiet and hardly audible sobs. Are you thinking about the same memories as I have been every day?
We are lead into a small room, a large metal table rests against one wall with a few seats opposite of it. The door closes behind us. Immediately, I feel extremely claustrophobic and petrified. You bend down beside me, petting me endlessly. Do you see how afraid I am? Can you see into my thoughts?
The lady takes off my leash, places it on the table and leaves the room through a different door. I glance at you, you are so close to me. You are staring into my eyes, and I stare back into yours. I just notice that I am quivering as a plastic bag in the wind, what have I done to deserve this?
When the woman returns, she is holding something shiny and pointy. You approach me and hug me, something I have been waiting for for so long... I can feel that you are warmer than I, and that you are shaking just the slightest bit. I can hear you sobbing clearly now, and it unmistakably breaks my heart.
I whimper as quietly as possible, and it only makes you cry harder. Is this the last time I will ever see you? Do you still love me? I so wish to know all about you now, all about what happened. I can hear the woman approaching, but I just ignore it. I want to remember this moment forever, the moment that you finally love me again.
Suddenly, I feel a prick on my right foreleg. What is that? Strangely, I feel very powerful, like I can do anything. That odd feeling rushes through my body, coursing violently. I stop shaking, I feel like I can hardly move. All I feel now is a tingling pain in my chest. Momma, what is happening?
It all seems to happen in one single moment, the tingling pain shifts into a burning sensation, I can feel something in my chest hurt. I wish with all my heart to see your face again, one more time, but I cannot turn my head. I cannot make any sound, I cannot move or feel anything but your arms gripping me tightly to you. All my fear seems to melt away, all my sorrow has fled to the shadows. Everything was turned to nothing, and everything faded away until all I could see is white. I lose all feeling, I lose everything. Everything but my first sight, that first memory of your face, shining with a smile I could never forget no matter what. I feel the love in my heart seep out until I cannot feel my heart any longer. I love you so much, that is all I can think about.